My writing exercise for this week’s Fiction class was to “steal a plot.” Specifically, we had to take a legend, fable, or short short and rewrite it—making it for an adult audience, if it was originally meant for kids. I choose to do the tortoise and the hare, changing the tortoise into a high school nerd and the hare into a God’s-gift jock. No hard feelings, of course. I was just having fun with it. 😉

Any comments and criticisms would be appreciated and duly noted.

I call this 704-word story (or at least this draft)

Cocky Jock and the Pansexual Nobody Nerd

There once was a nimble-footed, silk-wearing high school jock—we’ll call him Cocky—who was always bragging about his God-given sex appeal and speed. For years, the intellectually nimble nerd—the nobody—had listened to the boasting, but one day, he decided no more: He challenged the jock to a ten-mile race around the school’s cross country track, in front of anyone who would watch. And every student came to see the nerd lose to the obviously superior jock. But it was the principle of the thing that mattered, and the nerd was a young man of principles. He would race, no matter what.

A gun went off to signal that the race had begun, and the nobody nerd watched helplessly as Cocky the jock pulled ahead of him in the first ten seconds. No matter, he told himself; he could still win, and even if not, he would never quit, not against this jackass. He kept running, and before long, he came upon a boy, whom he had never met before and who started running to keep up with him.

“Hi,” the boy said, panting. “This is really brave of you.”

The nerd said hi, and from there the two carried on a wonderful conversation about high school politics, sexual orientation, and gender equality, but they soon realized that there was no spark between them; they were not compatible as lovers. They would, of course, remain close friends. Not long after parting ways with the boy, the nerd happened upon a beautiful girl, whom he had never met before and who also ran with him and talked about deep, important subjects before realizing that she wanted something else in a boyfriend; the nerd felt the same way, and the two parted ways with a hug. The nerd kept running as fast as he could go, which was to say not all that fast, and he soon met another interesting boy to explore.

Meanwhile, the jock was two miles ahead before he realized that he could not even see the nerd behind him. He stopped when he saw a hot blonde with large breasts sitting on the side of the track, crying. The nerd was way behind. What could a fifteen-minute break hurt?

“Hey baby,” he said, and smiled his gorgeous, cocky smile.

The blonde looked up and, despite her sourpuss, smiled back. The jock spent thirty seconds cheering the girl up, and then asked if he could fuck her. She told him yes, and he had his way with her, and then moved on down the path, running once more, the top button of his silk shirt now undone. Before long, he came upon another beauty and had sex with her as well. He started running again when he was dressed, save for the top two buttons of his silk shirt, but before he could go half a mile, he met another bombshell. What a lucky day! He stopped to have his way with this girl, too. But when he got back on the path, his silk shirt forgotten on the side of the road, he realized that he was getting drowsy and achy, and he saw a small, blackish red blob on his bare chest. He ignored it. With thirty steps to the finish line, he collapsed and died, yellow crust forming on his lips.

After meeting a beautiful girl and two cute boys, the nerd eventually caught up to another girl on the track, and the two struck up a conversation. They each realized that they shared similar values and opinions, that they were attracted to one another, and most importantly, that there was a spark between them. Together, they crossed the finish line, where they asked the school slut for a condom and went behind the bushes to make passionate love.

It was an hour before they were done and the nerd realized that he had won, that the jock had never even crossed the finish line. In fact, Cocky had died of rapidly-progressing complications from a sexual infection, a little gift given to him by his God-given sex appeal and speed. The jock boasted no more.

And the nerd was in love.

2 thoughts on “Cocky Jock and the Pansexual Nobody Nerd

  1. Great adaptation of a favorite fable of mine. I identify with the nerd. Fuck those jackasses that always seem to have it all. God gave them a test with the good looks… but alas, they’ve failed and they continue to fail… never learning. Ha. Good work, Roger!

    1. Haha. Thanks. I didn’t know you had my blog URL…oh wait, I have that automatic Twitter thing. That’s how you got it. Anyway, thanks; I’m glad you liked it and could identify with it!

      I just got out of class, actually, and saw this comment in my inbox. Now I’ve got someone other than Hélène approved for comments! LOL.

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